FAQs with Uncle Marty: The Monkey God and “Aliens Built It.”
Uncle Marty: “So. You’re telling me that aliens didn’t build Mayan Temples.”
Steve Stratman: That’s what I’m saying, yes.
“Where’s your facts?”
Are you kidding?
“You don’t have any evidence to support your theory?”
“Do you have evidence to support yours?”
“Pyramids came from Egypt. The only way they got to Mexico is because aliens brought them. You think they came over on the Mayflower?”
You don’t think that Mayans could have made their own pyramids?
“There’s too many similarities. Look at the Egyptian ones, then look at the Mayan ones. There’s no way it could be coincidence.”
“They’re pyramids. Basically stacking boxes on top of each other. Not exactly patent material.”
“So. You’re saying any dumbass can build one?”
No. I mean . . . well you couldn’t.
“Are you calling me a dumbass?”
The alien theory is basically someone saying that some people from certain ancient civilizations weren’t really smart enough to make complicated things.
“You’re calling me a racist?”
No. Well, kind of, I mean . . . there’s still hope for you.
“I heard they found the Lost City of the Monkey God in a jungle in Honduras. Either they were smoking some serious jamba-weed or they were praying to alien monkey gods.”
No one ever saw the City of the Monkey God for real. That’s why it’s called the Lost City of the Monkey God. It’s the type of myth that happens all the time. Like the Fountain of Youth, or El Dorado. Fact is, there are lots of ruins in that jungle. It’s very possible they could have been just one big civilization – made entirely by themselves – with no help from monkey gods.
“My dad had an El Dorado. Myth, my ass.”
Ok. You win. Can we talk about something else?
Click here to find out about the real Lost City of the Monkey God