Steve Stratman Writer

What if I don’t want to fight?

“You have to,” said my niece.

“You mean, if I’m at a bar, and a guy comes up to me and says, ‘I’m going to kick your f***ing ass . . .'”

“You have to fight,” she said.

I’ve been in a fight . . .

Minnesota. That’s a state, right?

No. It’s an evil, socialist regime . . .

Do you have any wine that’s not sweet?

“I put sugar in everything,” he said. “Coffee, spaghetti. When I flip my hashbrowns I toss a pinch in the pan. You won’t find wine around here that isn’t sweet.”

What did we just run over?

Yesterday it was half a dozen tumbleweeds. This morning, a black sack . . .