What if I don’t want to fight?
“You have to,” said my niece.
“You mean, if I’m at a bar, and a guy comes up to me and says, ‘I’m going to kick your f***ing ass . . .'”
“You have to fight,” she said.
I’ve been in a fight . . .
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Do you have any wine that’s not sweet?
“I put sugar in everything,” he said. “Coffee, spaghetti. When I flip my hashbrowns I toss a pinch in the pan. You won’t find wine around here that isn’t sweet.”
Read MoreWhat did we just run over?
Yesterday it was half a dozen tumbleweeds. This morning, a black sack . . .
Read MoreFAQ with Uncle Marty: Aliens on donkeys?
Uncle Marty: I’m looking at your latest cover art. Were you on acid when you drew this?
Read MoreThe Jaguar Knight
There’s no benefit to waking up with a foot pressed against one’s face . . .
Read MoreAre you alive enough?
The human soul. When it’s trapped, it resembles a bird in an attic . . .
Read MoreDown The Hatch
James Haaven sat in darkness. His hands were bound behind him, his feet were taped to the legs . . .
Read MoreDid you miss the bus?
I love meetings. Meetings that drone. Meetings that gibber-jab about . . .
Read MoreFAQs: Chimps and Jumping Jacks
“Why can’t you just finish that thing?”
Editing a book is like brushing a dog . . .
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